Dear Santa… (2016)
Last year I sent my letter to you quite late, so I hope this year I made it on time. I must admit that all year I’ve thought about what to wish for and what gift I would like to get from you. And as you already know, it was a real crazy year for me and many good and bad things happened. But before I share my wish with you, I have a few questions. The year ended pretty badly for you, didn’t it? Your major market is the USA and they’ve got a new leader, and as you know, you can’t consider him as the biggest fan of foreigners. And because you are living on the North Pole, which according to Canada Post lies within the Canadian jurisdiction with the postal code H0H 0H0, guess what? You are also a foreigner.
So you’re going to need to find a new way of distributing your gifts and how to enter US soil legally. The legal way will include proper screening and you’ll have to answer many questions about your trip. And it will be tough, because if you are going to mention that the reason for your visit are kids, this could end badly for you. And let’s face it, your elves are not some excellent lawyers.
Your second choice in how to enter US soil includes illegal ways which includes climbing over the wall or going through the smuggler tunnels. And based on what I know about you, you are not one of the millennial generation. You know how to attract them, but in your age and physical condition, climbing over the wall or crawling through tunnels could also end badly, and you don’t want to ruin the holidays for lots of kids in the world, would you? And if you hurt yourself without any insurance, this will be quite an expensive trip.
But don’t worry, we’ve survived worse things before and we are going to survive this too. And if you feel angry, you can turn this anger into a great opportunity in how to get yourself into better shape and make Santa great again! 🙂
Your Job is Tough
As you can see, your job is becoming tougher every year and one day, people start reading articles like “Santa will be replaced by Artificial intelligence (AI)” and in that moment, it will be too late to start looking for a job.
I am not saying that you need to change your job right now, but I think it’s time to start thinking about your plan B. I saw your reviews on Glassdoor and you are still doing pretty good. Recommend to a friend is still at 99%, Approve of CEO is 99%, so it looks like your team still likes you. You also have lots of positive reviews from interviews and from employees. You could possibly work a little bit harder on diversity, because only hiring elves looks pretty old-school, especially when diversity was one of the major topics in 2015 and 2016 in recruitment.
I know that you are trying to do modern things and to be honest your Employer Branding activities are still great! But maybe it’s time to try something new. I don’t know what’s in your contract with Coca-Cola, but are you sure that your red trucks are still working to attract Generation Z? What about red Tesla cars or painting the SpaceX rocket red?
Santa, I think you should also start planning a mobile app. You know your customers (younger generation) are using Snapchat, smart mobile phones, tablets etc. and tell me, when was the last time that you saw a kid writing a letter? And also you don’t have an Instagram account that you can fill with selfies of happy kids. And you will definitely get better selfies than Kim Kardashian! There is so much space for improvement, but your personal branding is still strong so at least you’ve got this part covered.
Before you start reading my list of wishes, I would like to know if you’re open for a new job opportunity? Surely, you must be bored after all these years! (And yes, you should expect this question from a recruiter.) 🙂
You know you are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream. Plus, you’ve been in the same position for many years without any possibility of further career growth, and I am not sure that you’re learning anything new at all. Plus, with the new guy in power, it going to be hard doing your job.
Maybe you think after that all these years being a Santa, you are not qualified for any other job. Well, don’t worry. Even if you don’t have experience, that “wall builder guy” is a reminder that you should just apply for that job you want even if you don’t have the experience. No matter what your haters and elves are saying!
Last year, I asked you for a few things and some of them were not fulfilled. I am not disappointed and I know that you are busy, but I really wanted that real lightsaber (yes, still big SW fan), but I realize I need to wait for my turn.
So, here are the things I wish for this Christmas:
- I wish that LinkedIn does not “improve” their site for users during the whole year 2017. I know that improving is a good thing, but did you see those improvements that they did during 2016? We still don’t have archive functionality in our Message box and using weird emoticons does not count as an improvement. While the possibility of saving the article that I am planning to read in the future is useful, if I can’t find where it’s stored, it’s pretty much useless. And setting a limit for 30 thousand connections is a big limitation. It’s like you only chose 30 thousand kids to get some gifts and the rest will go without them. LinkedIn is about networking and this shouldn’t be limited. So please, no improvements during 2017!
- I wish people would also start reading books other than fantasy books, because they’re still complaining on LinkedIn about some problems that they are not able to find Unicorns, Purple squirrel or some other animals. And I don’t get it. A unicorn doesn’t exist, and if they do exist, why do they need to know how to program in Java? I read lots of fantasy books, (like Harry Potter) but I have never read about a unicorn who is able to do the things that they are looking for. But maybe I missed something, or not?
- I wish all LinkedIn users would improve their math skills, so the constant math training images, “Solve if you are a genius” that we all see every day on our streams will not be necessary anymore. Thanks to all these pictures, I learned how to count the quadratic function and I didn’t ask for that! My life was fantastic before I learned that, so please help me to stop that before I learn differential geometry and my life changes forever. A few more of these “Solve if you are a genius” and I‘ll be like the guy from the movie, The Beautiful Mind. So Santa, solve it if you are a genius!
- I wish to see more articles about “Companies that are trying to develop AI to replace politicians.” Because most of AI’s (Artificial intelligence) are trying to replace recruiters. I know that AI is developed by developers and most of them are pissed at recruiters, for the spamming and constant calls. But come on, we are trying to offer a new job and not every recruiter is doing a bad job. So how about we try to replace politicians first rather than recruiters, because that will be more useful for everybody. Plus, it will be easier to program AI to act like a politician, as you won’t have to program in functions like honesty, truthfulness, etc.
- I wish LinkedIn would stop working for one week. Candidates will have one week off from the majority of recruiters that only use LinkedIn. And recruiters will need to be more creative in how to find candidates on the Internet. Yes, Santa, this is my malicious plan that I will explain to you during 2017, but as I’m thinking about this, will this get me on the naughty list, or?
- And yes, one more thing. I started Recruitment.Camp and I know that I don’t have enough time for it as I wish I did. So, having more time for this activity or more people helping me with it would be great, because sharing knowledge is great activity. 🙂
A few more things
I ask for a real light saber every year. And as you know, we’re close to colonizing Mars, we have electric cars, so tell me, why don’t we already have lightsabers? If Elon Musk was a lightsaber fan, we’d already have a working prototype by now! Last year and many years before, I asked for one and still nothing so I’m beginning to realize that I am still not acting that good that I deserve it. But come on, I am just a person with flaws so try to be flexible, I am trying! So any exception this year? 🙂
But jokes aside and I will be honest with you, this year I am not going to ask you for the light saber. This year, I lost somebody that was really close to me so my wish will be different. I know that life sometimes has bad moments and you couldn’t have brought that person back to life, so my wish is different. I hope that everybody around me will be as healthy as possible and we all survive next year without any other losses, crises and nothing bad happens. Because I will switch a real lightsaber every single time if I don’t have to lose any more people like my friend. I know that stuff has happened, good and bad. That’s just how life works, and you have to go with it. And if I am asking too much (as always) and you can’t grant my wish, just try to make others safe and happy, because life is a journey, not a competition.
One more thing… I am trying not to publicly share things that I am doing for others, because every time I share it, I feel like I am bragging and it doesn’t feel right. But there is one thing I would like to share, especially because it includes some other people from LinkedIn.
At the end of 2015, somebody posted on Facebook “Likes don’t save lives” and that is absolutely true. Clicking on “likes” is not going to change anything or do anything. You can feel good for a few seconds and think that you are helping, but really doing something is making the difference! You may never know what results come from your actions, but if you do nothing (like hit the like on Facebook etc.) there will be no result and nothing will have happened.
I thought about that note, “Likes don’t save lives” and during that time, I also read a book about Mahatma Gandhi and I really like his quote, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” So I decided that during the year 2016 (till the time I send you a new letter), I will turn every single “Like” that I receive under my LinkedIn articles into real money and this extra money I will give to charity. So, if you read any of my articles and you like it and “liked” during that time, you became part of this plan. 🙂
And the reason why I am sharing this, is that I just want to say thank you. Every activity in our life creates a ripple with no logical end that could change the life of others, and you’ve become a part of this ripple!
On the picture below, is one of the things that your “likes” have helped support this year and it’s one of many.
Make it through this stressful time and enjoy the Holiday Season!
P.S: Santa, I know I will get the socks again, so at least please bring me some running socks this year!